A Tale Of Two Parishes

 

To My Readers: This week my guest poster, Dominic Caggeso, explores how we should conduct ourselves at sedevacantist churches/chapels for the good of all.  Feel free to comment as usual. If you have a specific comment or question for me, I will respond as always, but it may take me a bit longer to do so this week. 

God bless you all, my dear readers---Introibo

A Tale of Two Parishes

By Dominic Caggeso

Once upon a time, there were two Sedevacantist parishes, each a part of a different Sede group. Both were faithful to the teachings of the Catholic Church. Both parishes were founded in the wake of the Second Vatican Council by devout Catholics who rejected the modernist heresies, the Novus Ordo rites, and the anti-popes. The founding families of each became the pillars of their parish communities, contributing sons and daughters to the priesthood and religious life. These families served as parish secretaries and ushers, cleaned the church, established choirs, donated the bulk of the funds needed for the parish to function, and filled the ranks of altar boys. Despite these many similarities, these parishes had one fundamental and important difference. One parish was narrow-minded, only aspiring to maintain the status quo. It was generally inward-looking and petty. The other parish exuded magnanimity, with a desire to grow; possessing a strong sense of hospitality. The contrasting orientations of these two parishes are highlighted all the more in light of the current state of the Catholic Church after the Second Vatican Council.

In the current landscape of the Catholic Church, traditional parishes have become a rare and precious resource. There are relatively few places to attend Mass. Fewer still are the dedicated buildings that serve as permanent parishes or mission chapels. Among those, even fewer parishes exist today that match the size and activity level of pre-Conciliar parishes. This rarity can be likened to oases in the desert, each one of immeasurable importance. This scarcity automatically spotlights the importance of this handful of truly Catholic parishes, raising them up as icons and examples by which the concept of Sedevacantism will be formed in the minds of outsiders.

Beyond just being standard bearers, Sede parishes/chapels also serve as first points of real-life contact for those searching for true Catholicism. For these souls, the shock of seeing the true state of the Catholic Church can be intense. Often, in embracing the true Faith, they are faced with changes to their employment, dress, beliefs, speech, and/or family relationships. The stakes are high for them, and they appreciate and need support and encouragement.

Given the challenges they face, it is crucial for Sede parishes to help make their transitions as easy and smooth as possible. We should be prepared to think and act beyond our comfort zones, keeping the bigger picture in mind and expanding our horizons past our personal concerns. We must remember that the parish environments we help create will often be the first encounter with a Catholic community for those coming out of the Novus Ordo. It is already very challenging to be a true Catholic today; we should not compound this difficulty by unforced errors and difficulties. The rarity of true Catholic parishes places a responsibility on our shoulders that is qualitatively different from pre-Conciliar parishes. Having received much from God, much is expected of us in return.

Thus, the difference between our two hypothetical parishes can mean the difference between newcomers sticking their landing or bouncing off, back to the Indult, Novus Ordo, or indifference. Charity towards our neighbor should compel us to stretch ourselves into new orbits of virtue and self-sacrifice in order to form a loving Catholic family ready to accept new members.

A Catholic Parish is like a Catholic Family

In many ways, a Catholic parish resembles a family: with traditions, communication styles, shared outlooks, and cultures contributing to their distinctive character. Just as each family has unique traits, so too do Catholic parishes. In a family, the tone is generally set by the parents. If the father is engaging, selfless, sacrificial, pious, joyful, firm, confident, loving, and easy-going, the children will thrive in an environment that fosters outward growth. The mother, complementing the tone set by her husband, creates a nurturing environment with her feminine touch. Conversely, a family struggles when led by a father who views family life as a duty rather than a joy and religion as mere rules instead of a loving relationship with God. A materialistic, grumpy, disinterested, and stingy father hinders his children's growth. With such a father, a virtuous mother can only do so much to influence the family’s tone. Without heroic virtue, she may even become embittered, further worsening the situation. 

From my experience as a Sedevacantist who has come out of the Novus Ordo and has made my way through a half dozen Traditional Catholic parishes, I’ve noticed differences between them that resemble the spectrum of familial characteristics noted above. Just as a father of a natural family is a tone-setter, so to is the bishop and/or the priest likewise. And just as the wife can complement the husband or work against him, so too can the religious (if the parish has any) or the lay helpers aid the mission of the priest or frustrate his plans.

No matter where our personal families or our Catholic parishes fall on this spectrum, it is never too late to improve. With this sincere desire, a great place to begin in this worthwhile endeavor is with the heart.

The Core of the Issue

The Latin word for “heart” is “cor”. This Latin word is at the root of the English word “courage”. The core difference between magnanimity and pusillanimity is the amount of fire in the heart. If we truly want our hearts inflamed with charity, we must have them lit on fire by Our Lord’s Sacred Heart. We must give ourselves totally to God in prayer and frequent the Sacraments as much as possible. In loving God, we will learn to love our neighbors, as St. John the Evangelist tells us.

“Let us therefore love God, because God first hath loved us. If any man say, I love God, and hateth his brother; he is a liar. For he that loveth not his brother, whom he seeth, how can he love God, whom he seeth not?” - 1 John 4: 19-20

We must enlarge our hearts, and let them serve as the engines that propel us to action and interaction inside our parishes. 

The Power of Our Ears

Having swelled our hearts with a love of God and a desire to do His will, one is faced with deciding how to practically live out this love. Inevitably, it will manifest in our interactions with others. In the realm of interpersonal relationships, there is one tactic, one “trick” or perhaps, one method that I have learned and practiced with great success. This is the art of listening.

I cannot express how much happiness and harmony can be generated in a parish by having a couple good listeners on hand. Listening doesn’t always mean just passively sitting still while someone is talking. Instead, to truly listen to someone, one must create a space in your mind for the other person to dwell. To listen to someone means to actively think in between the lines of their words, putting yourself in their shoes, asking pertinent questions and remembering the answers. To master this art, one has to be almost more interested in what the speaker is saying than he is himself. 

The amount of fulfillment and satisfaction that the speaker experiences when someone truly listens, at length, will win for you a new friend. Refrain from too much direct negativity, instead offering any necessary rebukes or corrections softly and gently, as you might imagine St. Francis De Sales doing. 

Visit Each Other

One of the most basic activities that binds a parish together in Christian charity is simply visiting others in their homes and inviting them into yours. This practice fosters a sense of belonging and mutual support, crucial for a vibrant parish. A picture says a thousand words, and likewise, you will be known by others and will get to know others so much better by seeing each others dwellings. Sharing personal stories at home strengthens bonds that extend beyond the parish setting. Meaningful and personal conversations take place in living and dining rooms. These interactions create a foundation for a more unified parish. 

Back to Our Two Parishes

Lets now return to our hypothetical tale of two parishes. Though they appear similar on paper, they create two different and distinct experiences for those who are part of them. Lets take a closer look at these two parishes and hopefully we can extract some insights. We can compare the two by placing them each in two real-life situations and observe how they respond differently.

Scenario 1 – A new family walks through the parish’s doors for the first time.

A new family, by God’s grace, has just rejected the errors of the Second Vatican Council and has seen the logic and Catholicity of the Sede position. They are still a bit rough around the edges, not yet dressing as modest as they should. Their children are somewhat unruly and worldly. However, the father and mother are humble and sincere. They have just left a booming Indult parish and are somewhat shocked at the meager means of the Sede world. Yet, they are driven by a genuine search for Catholic Truth.

The Petty Parish – The bickering cliques of the petty parish have created a cold and unwelcoming environment. As a consequence, only one or two parishioners approach the new family, and the few that do offer a canned greeting. They try to point out, with a matter of fact smile and with no apparent personal discomfort, that the dress code for women is to cover their upper arms and the children should wear dress shoes and a nice shirt, at the bare minimum. They inquire as to what church they are coming from, and then let them know about the parish picnic that is two months away before saying good-bye. The other, less friendly parishioners walk past them without making eye contact, instead heading straight to their comfort zone of friends whom they talk to each and every Sunday after Mass.

The Magnanimous Parish – Each of the various cliques of the parish has a good relationship with the others. Friendly comments, questions about others’ family members, or the offering of prayers for each other's crosses are frequent occurrences. As a consequence, the environment of the parish is lively and joyful, as the parishioners are actively trying to lift each other up, despite their differences. The new family is approached by at least three or four parishioners, often getting interrupted by others who are too shy to make first contact but still want to meet them. The new family’s children are given special attention by parish adults, who ask their names and ages and try to get them to smile, even introducing them to some of the parish children. The problem of immodest dress is not immediately addressed by the parishioners as it is too much of an abrasive subject to bring up right away. Instead, the parishioners tactfully conspire with each other about the best way to raise the subject before next Sunday. In such a parish, the new family is invited back to at least two parishioners' homes for dinner or a brief get-together, time permitting. In the social hall, the new family is brought into the heart of any number of groups of friends, and the entire group pays special attention to them, working together to make them feel welcome and comfortable. 

Scenario 2 – The parish pastor has just received an inspiration while praying. He announces a new parish festival, occurring each year, on the parish patron saint’s feast day. However good intentioned the pastor’s idea, he has some unrealistic notions for the festival, nonetheless.

The Petty Parish – Upon reading the pastor’s announcement for the new parish festival and learning of the unrealistic expectations he has, the parishioners vent their disapproval on their drives home from church. “That will never work,” “Who is he going to get to do that,” “That’s only one week away from the parish picnic,” are common complaints. By that Monday or Tuesday, the pastor begins to receive emails or text messages, some one or two paragraphs long, expressing the problems with his idea. Suggestions are given about what to do instead. By next Sunday, the two or three families that do the bulk of the work around the parish have dug in their heels against the notion of taking on any additional responsibilities, citing the lack of involvement of so many other parish families. The other parishioners have prepared excuses, ready to apologetically demur from any request to help out. Almost everyone who responds to the pastor does so with negativity, followed by a suggestion. 

The Magnanimous Parish – Just like the petty parish, the magnanimous parish also has a core group of people who do the lion’s share of the work. When the news of the new parish festival is announced, these committed families immediately begin to make mental notes about how to make the pastor’s idea work. They know he has some unrealistic expectations, but their immediate answer is “yes, great” instead of “no, I’m sorry, it won’t work.” Others are brought into the planning, making sure to keep the pastor’s vision in the forefront, and involving him as much as he wishes to be. By creating a sense of synergy and positivity, the group of parish volunteers brings joy to the pastor’s heart, just as a mother or father feels joy seeing their children playing lovingly with each other. In this mood, the pastor is much more inclined to receive suggestions about the festival plans and perhaps come to realize that some of his initial expectations were unrealistic. The environment is not combative, but collaborative and enjoyable.

Conclusion

There are many more examples that would draw out these differences. However, it is late and this article is already long enough. Therefore, to close, I would like to share this quote from St. Augustine that a friend recently shared with me. It highlights the need to maintain unity in matters of Faith and morals but compels us to be easygoing and amicable in matters of lesser importance. Permeating all thoughts and actions, however, is the great virtue of charity.

"In essentials, unity; in doubtful matters, liberty; in all things, charity." -St. Augustine